It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
