I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize