I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
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