what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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