porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
