try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
