I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
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