literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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