she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize