i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
