D3 body, D1 cock
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
