try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
