I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
