Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I still have a little drunk in my system
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
