Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
