I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
