And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
