I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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