I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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