jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
