Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
