He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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