you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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