Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
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