I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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