i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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