Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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