yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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