do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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