thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize