whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize
