my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
