"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Randomize
