We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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