i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
