is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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