I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
