pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Someone shit on the floor
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
