You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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