...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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