do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
