I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
