I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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