PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize