also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
