i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize