Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
sarcasm needs its own font
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
