I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Randomize
