Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
You smell like stripper and shame
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
