please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
So much rum. So many feels.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
