i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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