It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Randomize
