I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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