her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
