I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
