Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
So many bounce houses so little time
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
