I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
