he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
