he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Randomize
