Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
"it" just moved
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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