did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
