so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
