I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
