can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
