The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
