I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
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