I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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