Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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